


The Dead Pool Motel

by CrimesOfADeadpool



Series: "Writer For Hire" -  Marvel Oneshots [7]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Fluff, M/M, Motel AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 03:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3962572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimesOfADeadpool/pseuds/CrimesOfADeadpool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade's motel caters to a particular clientele. The rude, violent types. Which is fine, just what Wade wants. But when a cute, hard-working Peter Parker rents a room, Wade can't help but fall for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dead Pool Motel

**Author's Note:**

> Anon asked for "AU where Wade is the owner of a stingy motel and he's the clishe "dirty clothes, dirty mind, total slob" kinda type that works at the reception desk, but he's also really sweet and aware that he's not a huge catch (unlike most clishe guys who work at stingy motels) so when Peter books a room there, Wade gets incredibly nervous but dresses up and gets flowers and everything before going to ask Peter on a date. (Bonus points for a happy ending, obviously)"

“Good morning Logan,” Wade chirped as Logan pushed open the door to the motel office.  
Logan glared at him and held out his hand for a key.  
Wade shrugged and looked through the keys. “Room 203’s free,” he said as he handed Logan the key. He winked at Logan. “Let me know if I can help you with anything.”  
Logan made a non-committal noise as he handed over the money (cash as always) and walked out.  
Logan was a fairly regular customer at the Dead Pool Motel. He never said much, just appeared every few months. Wade wondered if he had a place of his own.  
Then again, with a name like ‘Dead Pool’, Wade’s motel didn’t really pull in the classy clientele.  
Which Wade was fine with, really. He got along just fine, and if he catered for a nicer clientele, he’d need to hire a receptionist. He didn’t really have the sort of looks, or personality, to fit in with...uh…normal people. He’d scare them off.  
The door’s bell chimed again and Wade looked up from his magazine. Then he blinked twice.  
“Well hello handsome,” he purred.  
The man blushed.  
He _blushed_.  
Wade put down the magazine. This guy wasn’t one of his normal customers.  
“Uh, hi,” he tried again.  
The man rubbed the back of his head. “Hey, um, I’m Peter. Peter Parker. I was looking for a room?”  
Wade frowned. “You’re uh….not the type of person who normally comes in here.” _Stupid._  
“My apartment’s being fumigated.”  
“And you don’t have anyone to stay with.”  
Peter’s ears turned redder. “I’m fine with-”  
“Renting a room in a seedy motel?” Wade nodded. “Good choice, ten out of ten would recommend.”  
“Do you have a spare room?”  
Wade nodded. “Always space at the Dead Pool.”  
  
XXX  
  
Wade wandered outside aimlessly. Tony Masters had taken over the reception desk, not that anyone was likely to come in. Besides, Tony had more patience than him.  
“Oh hey.”  
Wade turned and saw Peter walking down the steps to the ground level. “Hey!” Wade replied. “What’s up?”  
Peter shrugged. “You not on reception today?”  
“What? And deprive my guests of my wonderful face?” He pointed to his (maybe not so) wonderful face.  
Peter gave a small chuckle.  
“Leaving so soon?”  
Peter shook his head. “No, just got to check on my aunt.” He gestured to a car.  
“You call your car ‘aunt’.” Wade repeated in a monotone.  
Peter gave him a look.  
“Hey, no judgement,” Wade threw up his hands.  
“I’m going to _drive my car_ to visit my aunt.”  
Wade’s eyes widened. “How are you real?”  
Peter flushed. “I’ll see you later then.”  
  
XXX  
  
“Morning _Petey_ ,” Wade sung.  
“A-are you gardening?” Peter asked as he approached him.  
Wade shrugged. “You know how it is. If I garden, people will overlook all my other flaws.”  
“Flaws?”  
“You know, my winning personality can be a bit overwhelming. Gardening gives me a down-to-earth aspect.”  
“Oh of course, why didn’t I think of that?”  
“Says the guy who visits his aunt and doesn’t take handouts.”  
“You’re right, it’s all a sham.”  
Wade nodded. “I knew it.”  
“I’m actually a monster,” Peter continued.  
“The cute ones normally are.”  
“You think I’m cute?”  
Wade paused and looked up at him. “Of course.”  
“Oh.” There was a pause. “You’re pretty attractive too.”  
Wade laughed. Loudly.  
Peter folded his arms. “You are.”  
“You’ve really got the boy scout thing downpat, huh, Petey?”  
Peter made a noise and walked away.  
  
XXX  
  
Wade examined his reflection as the door opened. Wade’s head shot up.  
“Oh, hey Logan,” he said, looking away from the reflection. Attractive. Huh. Peter definitely had his head screwed on funny.  
Logan handed over the key silently.  
“I’ll miss you!” Wade chirped.  
Logan rolled his eyes and left.  
Wade scratched the back of his head. Attractive.  
  
XXX  
  
“Why is it called Dead Pool?” Peter asked, sitting near where Wade was gardening.  
“Hmm?”  
It had become a bit of a routine with them over the past two weeks. Wade would garden and Peter would sit and chat to him. Wade accused him of, at various times, being a loner, a pervert and trying to seduce him. Peter skilfully rebutted every accusation, reminding him he was poor and Wade’s motel sucked at entertaining people. Not even a games room or anything.  
“The Dead Pool Motel,” Peter said, waving his arms around grandly.  
Wade shrugged. “What? Don’t you like it?”  
“It’s a bit odd.”  
Wade shot him a grin. “So am I, baby boy.” He went back to his work. “I dunno, I like it. You know, Dead Pool.”  
“There isn’t a pool.”  
“No one’s dead either. I guess I think of it as ‘deserted’, you know. Like how a club is ‘dead’ when no one’s there.”  
“And the pool?”  
Wade shrugged again. “It sounds cool.”  
“It sounds cool,” Peter echoed.  
“That’s the spirit.”  
  
XXX  
  
“Hey, what’s up?” Wade asked as Peter entered the office.  
Peter grinned at him. “My apartment’s done.”  
“Oh.”  
“Yeah. I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow.”  
“Oh.”  
“You can finally garden in peace.”  
“Yeah,” Wade said with a weak smile. “Finally.”  
  
XXX  
  
Peter was leaving.  
To be fair, he should have expected this. Then again, he should have expected a lot of things. Like how the thought of Peter leaving actually made him feel sad. He had gotten used to their conversations. The way Peter smiled. The jokes and the references.  
Wade might have fallen for Peter a bit.  
And no, as hard as he tried to convince himself, it wasn’t just cos Peter thought he was attractive.  
Peter was clever. And funny. And perfect.  
And completely wrong for Wade in every way.  
So Peter was going to leave and Wade would never see him again.  
That felt wrong too.  
Wade splashed water on his face and sat on his bed.  
_I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to ask, right?_ It wasn’t as if Peter was going to come and visit him after he left. He was just the weirdo who gardened and owned a motel with the word ‘dead’ in the title.  
Wade groaned. He’d regret it, right? If he didn’t bother. If he asked, at least he’d have that…closure? Yeah, closure. He’d have closure.  
He pulled himself off the bed. “Closure.” He nodded to himself.  
And, he thought as he shot a look to his closet, if he was going to do this…  
May as well go all out.  
  
XXX  
  
Knock, knock, knock.  
Peter opened the door.  
He was adorable. Shirtless, bed-headed, and confused.  
“Wade? What’s up?” He rubbed his head. “Is something wrong?”  
Wade shook his head and stuck out his hands.  
Peter looked at them. “Flowers?”  
“My best flowers.” Wade informed him. “Handpicked.”  
Peter looked him over. “You look nice. Have you got a date?”  
Wade grinned at him, hiding his nervousness and resisting the urge to tug at his nice jacket. “Can I come in?”  
“Sure.” Peter stepped aside and Wade entered. He didn’t look at the room, he owned it, knew it like the back of his hand.  
Wade handed him the flowers. Peter blinked back at him.  
“Is this the…uh…traditional leaving ceremony at Dead Pool Motel?” Peter asked, fiddling with the flowers.  
“Only for my favourites.”  
“Oh.” He sounded disappointed.  
“I’ve never had a favourite before.”  
“Oh.” A pause. “ _Oh.”_  
Wade nodded and looked at the ground. “So, um, yeah, I know you’re leaving tomorrow and that’s cool, cos this place sorta sucks, especially for pretty respectable boys like you, but uh… I enjoyed hanging out with you and I know I don’t have a chance in hell, but like you’re leaving anyway, so if you could just let me down nicely and then never come back here, that’d be nice, and then I’ll just hide in my room for a while but that’s just how the world works baby boy, so yeah if you could just do that now. Thanks.”  
“Are you…asking me out?”  
“Mmmhmm.”  
“Oh.” Peter looked at the flowers. “You got me flowers.”  
“Handgrown,” Wade reminded him.  
“And wore a nice suit.”  
“My best.”  
“To ask _me_ out.”  
Wade felt his face go red. “Don’t drag this out Petey, it’s a two letter word.”  
“Ok.”  
Wade’s head darted up.  
Peter was nodding to himself. “Yeah, that sounds great. Where did you want to go?”  
“ _What?”_ Wade asked in horror.  
Peter blinked at him. “O-k.”  
“But…”  
Peter waited.  
“Seriously?” Wade finally finished.  
Peter nodded. “I would’ve said yes without the uh dressing up and the flowers. They’re nice though!” he added quickly and then headed to the bed. “So, give me fifteen minutes, I’ll shower and change, and you can take me somewhere.”  
“B-but…”  
Peter waved his hands. “Shoo. Fifteen minutes.”  
Wade nodded dumbly and headed out of the apartment.  
What had just happened?  
_I think… I think I’ve got a date. Peter and I… are going on a date!_

**Author's Note:**

> It took me way longer than I'd like to admit to come up with the name for the motel. "Golden Girls?""Bea Arthur?" Copyright rules. "Cable?" THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE. "...Well...Deadpool?" Oh right...yeah...
> 
> Also gardener!Wade?? Idk how I feel about it, like I wanted Wade to have a reason to be out of the office, but then again, I'm not sure how good a gardener he'd be, I guess it depends cos like flowers and stuff are pretty and Wade likes pretty things and in this world he isn't quite as crazy or suicidal so I guess it works?? Idk....  
> Fun fact: I didn't even think about the 'bringing Peter flowers' tying into the gardening until I reached the bit where Wade was in his bedroom. ahahaha. 
> 
> Um, so yes, my [tumblr inbox](http://crimesofadeadpool.tumblr.com/) and comment section is always open for prompts. Right now I have two Spideypools, a Cherik, a non-romantic Bucky/Deadpool and a DOFP au, I'm working on, so if you send me a prompt it'll be a few days before I get to it. (But to be fair, I get through these pretty quickly)


End file.
